Krikit

My mind won't stop running...

2009-08-26T15:43:42Z

I keep having random thoughts, and it is amazing. There was a gate, and behind that gate, ideas decided to come there. Over the years, more ideas kept coming, and sitting, waiting for it to open. Then one day, it finally opened, and now they won't shut up.

I miss nature. I miss living in it. I miss taking walks in it. I miss bird calls and the crickets. The lovely wind even feels different in nature. More of a lover trying to push you around, then a little kid wanting to play.

For those that don't know, yes, I'm doing really well. I feel like I have my life together. I also feel like my legs are ready to move on.

I'm kind of sick of parties. I don't drink nearly as much as I use to. I don't see a point.

My classes are doing really well. I'm in organic chemistry, and it is such a pain. I have not had a chem class in four years or did anything with chemistry. The knowledge has just been sitting there getting old.

I am starting to be on a decent sleep pattern. Sleep is amazing! Going to bed around nine to midnight, and waking up the next day to actually do something is by far amazing.

WoW needs to be blown up. It is such an evil thing. It literally sucks your life dry, and there is nothing good that comes from it. No real lessons of life, just turns into real drama. I have enough drama in my real life. I don't need it in my fictional one either.

I also might quit fighting in the next five years. My body is getting too old. It becomes so sore afterwards. My hands have not improved much. My knees hate me. My back is done.

I think I am out of here for now.

Because I do not post much and am an uber dork...HH HW

2008-09-11T06:22:17Z

Hellhammer: that eight year old worn and torn pair of old jeans that everyone tells you should get rid of, because of all the holes and raggediness. Yet, you still wear it proudly. Yeah, they are a little tattered, so they aren't perfect. Give me any good old scrape though. Whatever curve ball life wants to throw, I bet I will come up ahead. Don't care how many there is, either. They are those lucky jeans. The ones that if you got rid of them, all that would follow is misery and regret. Sometimes, they might get you into trouble, but its okay. They always cover your ass and get you out. Besides, it may not always seem like the best idea at the time, but with the stories you walk away with afterwards, you wouldn't trade them for the world. Those holes are spunk and attitude. The jeans you wear that says, "I won't take anyone's shit". Now, imagine these jeans belong to a small group of people, and everyone that wears these understands, and some how, everyone wears them all at once. These people get it. That is what hellhammer is.

guardianoflife @ 2008-08-28T01:06:00

2008-08-28T06:12:40Z

Things are finally coming together. I stayed up late tonight though. Yes, it is one am, and I am saying this is late. Heh, what have I turned into. I am doing pretty well with my second week of classes.

I told work today that on school nights, I want to be off by 9pm. One of my managers is an asshole, and won't let me ever leave early. In fact, I am always working until the end of my shift. The problem is at least one person is always allowed to leave early, and I normally have been their the longest and the most exhausted. He has two reasons for keeping me. First, I work with a bunch of newer servers, and I am the only one who is considered a solid server. If they get slammed, I am able to take the most tables. This reason I understand. Second reason, I am normally on a cash register. My manager is too lazy to count mine which would be his responsibility if he put someone else on a drawer. Results: He has to deal with me getting off at 9.

I will post more when I am wearing my glasses and this isn't giving me a headache.

Sleep Deprivation

2008-04-30T07:12:50Z

I think if I ever could or would kill somebody, it would be when I am without sleep. I threatened several people today in this state of mind. I wasn't really serious, but it wouldn't be too far fetched. Yes, there are people out there that really annoy me.

I took Katie to Forbidden Kingdom tonight. It was a little cheesy, but I really liked it. Jackie Chan is an awesome drunkard. That is all I have to say on that topic.

Time for a real update

2008-04-23T16:42:40Z

I am getting my life in order. After spring wars, I have stopped drinking, and have decided that some people were not meant to drink. I mean myself. I do not mean doing it a little bit, but it always seems I make mistakes. I know there is control about, and I do not want a lecture on good job, or bad job, or anything of that. For some people, it is not meant for, and I do not want to drink anymore. I am not saying I will not have a drink every once in a while, but I think I am going to take the sober path again.

I start school in June. I am taking six hours, followed by full time at heartland. I really wanted to be out of heartland this summer, and if nothing else, by the fall. I have decided to go into education though and will be taking another semester at Heartland (Spring 2009). It is going to put me back in getting my bachelor's but it is something I want. I want to become a school counselor, and as long as I can pull things together, I will be getting my master's right after I get my bachelors. My motivation has slowly gone up, and I believe the hole in my road is finally being filled in enough for me to continue on this road.

My body is tense, and I am done screwing up, Sometimes I am able to relax, and I feel just fine again. Last year was really hard on me, and in some ways have set me back. I have stood back up though, not looked back, and continue to move forward, not without incident, but I learned and changed my ways from these mistakes. My mother doubts me, but that is fine. I am use to my mom and I not agreeing. She thinks I will not be able to handle school and work. Well, I will not be hanging out with people as much. In some ways, I have already started recently. The one person I hang out with is Katie, and she is leaving in May. I am going to miss her.

My work finally realized I could start working late nights, so they have started me on a screwed up schedule. A different manager is doing the schedule and he started working me on Sunday afternoons, which is the only time I have requested off during the week. I plan on talking to him the next time he works because I will not put up with it, especially if I am having to work late nights again. (Some of the shifts are working from 4pm to 3:30 am)

guardianoflife @ 2007-12-19T06:57:00

2007-12-19T13:00:42Z

I am so angry right now. I am getting in trouble by gaming. The most innocent thing I can do. I'm not drinking or partying or wasting money. I am just sitting around a table playing Dungeons and Dragons all night long. I am sorry that it means I sleep differently. It means I have sort of a social life in Canton. The one thing I really lack. They wonder why I want out of here. I have no control really of what goes on. If I need to stay up all night working on a paper, I don't have access to a computer. Granted, yes I procrastinate, but I like not sleeping normally. I like have a sleep pattern. It might be a messed up one, but I work fine like this.

Weird Luck

2007-10-04T18:29:53Z

The strange weird luck of the last past two days. I got payed more last night then I thought I was going to. It was enough for this whole weekend. Add the fact that my paycheck was more, it was like something telling me, hey, enjoy this event, don't worry about money. It is very odd. Add the fact that a friend of mine who couldn't make it two weeks ago, won like $200 in the lottery. Strange time for HH. Very weird.

I'm so excited! So many barrels, like Rosie's! :) I bought him a gift!

A busy day...

2007-10-03T13:49:42Z

Tomorrow is 'Fest. A part of me doesn't want to go just to save money. I know I'm going to love 'fest and all, but it seems whenever I finally start to get money, a trip comes up, and I have to wait another month to get back to where I'm at. I dj tonight by myself. This is going to be interesting. I already have a playlist set up although, I will need to watch and read the crowd. I'm not afraid of the talking. I have memorized a couple of lines, and that helps. It is how I did plays in high school. A lot of it will be on the spot stuff though. I understand this. I'm excited for it. I'm also nervious. Oh, I have school starting in ten minutes for the rest of the day until three. When I get off of school, I get a haircut, followed by making sure everything is set up for tonight. I think I might eat there. I'm going to experiment with the karaoke software after all this, but before tonight to see if I can figure out the few bugs we had last week. I will need a notepad and paper because I'm bad with names and I know they will want me to call them up. I'm off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz.

guardianoflife @ 2007-09-29T14:57:00

2007-09-29T20:04:24Z

I've sort of been worried about getting hours with the new job, but I finally start tomorrow. I feel I am going to own that restaurant. It is kind of sad because I just got new glasses, and I started owning at the country club. I have been on top of everything now that I can see. This is like everything in my life. From school to drinking, to learning to be a better poker player(that is really fun). I am learning how to dj, possibly picking up learning to become a bartender. LIke, its weird, but my life has opened up many opportunities I could not get in NOrmal. At the same time, it does put me at a better experience so where I end up, I will be able to get a job doing something, and it is definitely good for my goal, my own restaurant. Its weird, on one hand, I'm kind of lonely, but I love hanging out with the people here, and I really miss Normal. On the other, I have been given other opportunities from it. I'm sort of glad I moved back, especially since it is not permanent.

Making sense of a chaotic world

2007-09-23T18:33:47Z

Life makes sense again. Its weird. It is simple, be happy. Do what you have to as long as you are true to yourself. I want to go run.

Walking along this dangerous line of Insanity of No Return

2007-09-18T02:00:21Z

I recieved a call from someone looking for a roommate in Normal. I'm looking at my options. I also did get that other job. I think I'm going to run with it. I don't want to only be working three days a week. Who knows what I will do on the thing in Normal. If I took it up, it wouldn't be until December, and the apartment would be ran differently. The guy I talked with totally agreed that no partying at the place during the weekday. We will see.

Sore, tired, and barely can move

2007-09-17T13:28:09Z

I miss Normal. It is a thousand times better then where I'm at right now. I mis the $6 large cheese pizzas, the fighting, the atmosphere, the ISU campus, and the random people I meet. It always makes me happy to go over there, no matter what. Granted, on mondays, I feel so tired like I don't want to do anything, but it happens. I force myself to move, unlike on sundays where my body just does. I really do enjoy it over there. I still don't know what I'm going to do for next fall. Boise, Portland, or ISU? Those are my choices as of right now.

guardianoflife @ 2007-09-11T20:49:00

2007-09-12T02:00:33Z

Aight, the real post on the job versus. First I think I will list the cons of the new place, then the old, the pro's.

New Place Cons:
Learn New menu
Learn New Restuarant
Meet new peeps(can be a pro and a con)
New restaurant so a lot will be relied on the staff working there
No idea on the numbers(could be a hit, could be a miss)
Will have to serve really bad tippers(those peeps that don't tip worth shit, and won't ever tip worth shit and aren't worth it)

Country Club Cons:
place very clicky(staff, which I guess I am liked there, but meh)
Work with one type of crowd of people
In the winter time, they are dead, and only open three days a week
Crosstrained(pro and con...con being that if people call in, I am the guy that gets pulled)
We also do catering....and I like just serving, altough the money is good
They have been shady with me in the past.

New Place Pros:
Not have to meet new people
Will be open more, or at least longer hours
Chance to learn to bartend
Will probably have to clean my tables
I will be hired as a server, so while I maybe crosstrained, this will be my strength.

Old Place Pros:
We have Bussers(this is very nice)
My customers know me, and adore me(yes, old people love me, I don't understand it)
Cross-trained(means I can pick up more hours)
Good tippers, regulars
money from catering
Starting to be in a position where they give me what I ask for.

I can not think of any more right now, but if you guys have suggestions let me know.

New Job Offer

2007-09-11T20:41:06Z

So my step-dad is going to start working at this restuarant on the outskirts of town, and I just got an offer to work there. I would have to meet with them, but it would be a for sure thing. For those that did not know, I am working at a Country club right now. I'm thinking of the pro's and con's. The country club isn't that busy a lot, but the tips are decent. The place wants to steal me for obvious reasons, I have experience with different crowds. I really would like to be working with different people because my work place is very clicky. There are other reasons too, but I will talk about them later.

Chaos Wars

2007-08-02T01:09:16Z

After tonight, I will be unable to be reached. If you do not get a response from me for those that this matters, do not feel offended. I'm off in Idaho!

guardianoflife @ 2007-07-29T12:23:00

2007-07-29T17:36:04Z

Wow, lj...I've avoided for a little bit. I leave in four days. I worked over 21 hours at the Country Club the last past two days. I think I will have worked over forty hours this week. It is kind of a pain since I'm trying to get a lot of stuff done before I take off. I am so excited. Yes, I will be on a bus by myself, but it will be an adventure. I'm so happy that I'm doing this. I get to see all sorts of people like Anu, Bhakdar, Elrosse, Plithut, Keiko, Lady Grey, Troll, and a ton other people. I also will get to meet a bunch of other people. I'm starting to fight in Peoria since I know some peeps that go, and I'm able to get a ride.

I've accepted I'm living in Canton for at least a little bit and this summer has passed more quickly then I liked. I just find myself working and working. Sometimes I actually do stuff which is fun. I don't drink very often, and normally if I do anymore, its just a drink after work.

When I finally fought last monday, it was wonderful to cause so much chaos and mayhem. While I did get a couple of kills, it was mainly just confusing the fuck out of them, and them not knowing what to do. If I had just a one or two people who knew what they were doing with me, the other team would have been fucked. It happens though. I am really rusty and am trying to break the rust off before Chaos Wars. I am going to help Xooyan with Goblin night for the kiddes, and I already made a sword for it. I am looking for my elbow covers, but I may just need to make a new pair. That saddens me, but then I could do a purple and black pair that goes with the colors. I think I will make it like my last pair. I already made a small sword. I think it might fail on weight, but it is for the little ones, so I'm not worried about it. It comes really close to be under 24, but I don't think it passes. I know if just an inch was taken off, it would definitely pass. I also showed timmy how to make swords. His first turned out alright. It does have a bad cutting job on the foam though, like horrible. I guess it could be worse. I'm working on reblading another sword, and then possibly making at least one more sword. This is really quite easy stuff and fun. I wish I started making swords a long time ago.

Ahh, yes, finally

2007-07-04T18:36:55Z

I will start training to serve at the Canton Country Club next week. I'm excited. Its one thing to just get the job, but definitely another when you prove you can do it, and you move up that way. It makes me happy!

Chaos

2007-06-30T03:28:22Z

I really want to go. I've been doing some math, and it looks very possible. (Timmy, you might not know what I'm talking about, but don't say anything to mom or dad just yet.) I would love to so go especially since 'geddon is a no go. It also seems like more and more of my favorite peeps are going to make it.

guardianoflife @ 2007-06-21T03:40:00

2007-06-21T08:43:18Z

My 21 b/d was okay, but when it came down to it, saturday knocks the socks off of my birthday. I went to normal friday night and stayed at Robbie's. We meant to go to fighting on saturday, but we like sleep. We went, saw the Jerk, and I learned what good beer tastes like. I had Wynchwood Hobgoblin. Yes, I drank it because of the name, but I also liked it. THen mom bought me an irish car bomb followed by a pbr that one of mom's friends bought me. I drank it out of courtesy...that is the only reason! We then went to mom's, I got a 12 pack of Samual Adam's summer mix, and we continued to drink. I was quite happy with myself because I obeyed my limit. I know my limit. I feel it, then a lot of the time, I drink over that. It wasn't that way saturday! :)

I've been gaming and hanging out with random people. Its been fun, surprisingly.

guardianoflife @ 2007-06-04T02:57:00

2007-06-04T07:57:23Z

In all its forms, I miss the petri dish.

guardianoflife @ 2007-06-03T12:40:00

2007-06-03T17:41:03Z

I really enjoyed the wedding. It was fun to see a lot of people I have not seen for a while. I am really happy that Davit and Nuri are officially married.

A post-he lives!

2007-06-02T11:02:35Z

I'm kind of excited for Nuri and Davit's wedding. I'm so happy they are finally tieing the knot. I woke up early. I went to be early. Such a weird concept. I think I was in bed until eleven. I think it blew my mind away, so it woke me up at four. We are getting ready to leave. I think we will stop for breakfast, but we should be there by ten or eleven. I turn twenty-one in eight days, which feels like a weird concept to me. It is the last of important birthdays, at least for a long time. I have an idea I hope I am able to pull off. If so, I will have a lot more money in the long run and be able to live at being at home. I have a job by the way. Its being a busboy at the Canton Country Club. It feels very demoralizing to go from being one of the best servers at the restaurant I work at to being a bus boy somewhere else. Granted, it means I have an opportunity to climb the ladder and probably make more then I was, or at least open up oportunities.

Happenings of an invisible man

2007-05-21T02:30:29Z

One-I've decided I have the ability to be sort of invisible. I think I get as close to being as invisible as anyone really can. If I want to disappear while I'm around people, its really easy. Its a good talent to have.

Two-In order to fix Keiko's sleep, or lack there of, I prescribe plithuit.

Three-I helped my mom and step-dad strip and clean a floor. Yea, thats right, I stripped for money! :-P

Four-I'm really hyper, and want to bounce through the walls.

Five-Canton isn't so bad. When I drank the other night with Canton peeps(it was in Macomb, though...), I had reached my drinking limit for the night. Then drama happened, and I realized I was way too sober for it, but I couldn't drink any more because I was just at my drinking limit. When you are really drunk, and you are not drunk enough for drama, its an akward time.

Six-I'm waiting on someone to give me a call back with details for a movie, but they fail. 100%. I now want raspberry cranberry juice. Go be happy!

Job Opportunities

2007-05-18T17:06:16Z

Turned in one application at this place called the Palm Cafe. Open Wednesday-Saturday 5-whenever. As soon as I turned in the application, I was put into an interview...wish I was wearing a little nicer clothing, but meh. If I get the job, it will be prepping food or dish washing. I wouldn't mind either really. Gets me in the door for possible serving... ;) I also have an interview at the Canton Country Club. If I get a job there, it should be for serving, or at least that is what I'm hoping. Its on Tuesday, so we will see. I still have a couple of other places I need to apply at. Hopefully it all works in my favor. Canton isn't as so bad. I get to excersice, and sort of have my own room. People are a little demanding but thats okay. Its kind of quiet. Don't know if I like that or not, but it beats having people over 24/7 which I miss too. If I ever wanted to hang out, all I had to do is be in my own apartment. Granted, horrible place to study at because I only really got the chance at night, and people are loud at night. Still don't know what I'm doing about next semester. I guess I will cross that one when the time comes.

guardianoflife @ 2007-05-17T12:06:00

2007-05-17T17:08:33Z

I miss serving
I miss bullshitting for 7 hours
I miss the money
I miss my regulars
its seriously the best job I've ever had
dealing with customers, having conversations
learning new things
I really do love that job

Canton, stop being mean, and give me a serving job!